Idle Chat: Love me for me

Do you feel like you're being enclosed by the walls, or feel burning stares behind your back? This is probably the most weirdest moments I could experience. Being an only child only adds to the intensity of the awkwardness I sometimes feel whenever they expect something from me.

I'm sure that you experience these kind of things as well. We often have people we would want to please or we feel obligated to make them happy or proud of you. Sadly some of the people we try to please so much might not feel contented with what you try to give to them.

I have faced this kind of problem before, thankfully I found a way to solve this. Here's the thing this is the problem we often face.

<--- This is mostly the reason why we try to do everything as best as I can.

It's hard to not feel fear, because you want them to notice you, to respect you, to love you. Its instinct to want people to like you. You wouldn't want them to give you hating glares when you meet them in the hallway or whisper behind your back. Even those who say they don't care, in truth are just as hurt when people criticize them, harshly.

It hurts, if your friends hate you, if no one trusts you, and if everybody doesn't want to be with you.

http://sun-is-always-shining.tumblr.com/

                Well, this is the truth --->
You don't need to please all of them. They don't affect you as much as you affect yourself. You shouldn't see yourself as a loner or loser, 'cuz your not. You can be the best, as long as you see yourself that way. Do you think that they're perfect? No they're not, they're just the same as you are.

 Don't go down with them, you are not low. You can be higher than the blue sky as long as you respect yourself, love yourself, and most of all ACCEPT YOURSELF.

It won't hurt to know how special you are. You don't know, maybe someone likes you because of your weird hazel eyes, maybe someone likes to be your friend because of the way you laugh like there's no tomorrow.  Endless reasons to why MANY people will want to be with you. Yet, some don't know it at all. They continue to think they're not worthy of being someone's friend, or they think they aren't pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough,

http://leilockheart.tumblr.com

"But sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are."

Just that simple, no other reasons.
No more hiding, your beauty is coming.
Do not worry, for haters gonna hate.
But remember WE love you in every way.
             ----- By Jules

* * * 

Thank you for reading this idle chat segment :) For more inspiring pictures please go to the following websites:

http://leilockheart.tumblr.com

http://sun-is-always-shining.tumblr.com/ 

 

Book Review: The Ghost and the Goth by Stacey Kade

The Ghost and the Goth by Stacey Kade (4.5 stars)

First, I would like to congratulate Stacey Kade for making such a wonderful book; you are a very unique writer. Making a review about the book is just a pleasure to do.

It isn’t the daily type of book I usually read, maybe that’s the reason that I loved it so much. The writing and witty comebacks were hilarious. Everything about it was just candid and adorable. Since the book is written with different POV’s I had a good understanding about the characters, and because of Kade’s unique writing skills , I saw Alona and Killian’s true personalities. The writing made them stand out not just as a character(s) but as a true person, you can relate to.

I had no real expectations for this book, I read a few reviews about it, and most of them were balanced, some loved it, some didn’t. I didn’t know what to expect from it, and as much as possible, I didn’t want my judgment to be affected by a few opinions from my friend. So, even with my friend’s negative opinion about it, I started reading it.

It wasn’t a complex story at all, it just started with Alona Dare (btw I so loved her name) who died and was trying to find a way to “move on to the light”, then unexpectedly she learns that Killian, goth and ‘loser’ can see spirits like her. She tries to find her way to make a deal with him so that she can move on. On the other hand, Will a.k.a Killian, doesn’t want to have any interactions with spirits, and he definitely did not expect that he would meet Alona Dare’s ghost. But with Alona’s help (to his surprise), she finds a way to help him, a lot. He made a deal with Alona that he would help her find “the light” and then she will help him shoo the other spirits. But they both didn’t anticipate how much they would need each other.

It wasn’t really hard to figure out the rest of what happened to the story (believe me, if you read many books already you would’ve probably guessed what happened by the middle of the book). But it still felt good reading it.
Other than the good writing, I found myself loving the characters, (in short, Alona and Killian). There wasn’t really a part in the book that describes the other characters other than Joonie. So I found myself really intact with Alona and Killian.

Alona Dare (I still can’t get over her name >.<) is a very admirable woman. Sure she is mean and a bit of a snob-ish type of girl, but I can’t hate her for that. She does her best so that she would be respected as one of the first-tier students even though her mother is a drunk and her father found another person to make a family with. Her story was just sad, but I liked her so much because she chose not to be affected by it. She made herself independent by choosing to be successful in her school life. Although in the process of going through her personal problems, she did step on other people, hurt their feeling and maybe even their confidence. But you know what? Even though she did those kind of bad things, I still like her.

Because for one thing, she doesn’t try to be good to other people if she doesn’t like them, and if she’s angry she’ll show it, and she won’t be plastic! That’s exactly why I like her. She isn’t plastic! She is true to herself and she doesn’t deny the fact that she IS a mean girl. That’s who she is. At least she accepts it.

For Killian, well, I think the picture in the book is a bad illustration for him. He’s not the hottest person I could imagine, but I’m sure there’s something in his feature that would make him attractive. I don’t like him as much as I like Alona, but he is a very amusing guy, not exactly in my list of book boyfriends but still I think of him as a big brother or maybe someone who could be my boy buddy at school. His matchup with Alona was obvious from the start, they were like cats and dogs (and we already know where that ends up), he just seems a bit weak for a guy who can see spirits, his personal problems weren’t really a big problem, it was just a few flaws in his life. He didn’t hit me as the type of person I would root for. But I was really glad when he manned up and told the truth by the end. It was a good step for masculinity but I wish he would be, more vibrant and memorable in the next sequel.

Other than the characters, the cover for me was just average, I loved the concept of the picture, but the title font was a bit cliché for me. I would recommend this to anyone, It’s a fun novel to read and you will feel a wee bit happier after reading it too. :D

Book Review: Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma

Forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma

SUMMARY: She is pretty and talented - sweet sixteen and never been kissed. He is seventeen; gorgeous and on the brink of a bright future. And now they have fallen in love. But... they are brother and sister.

Seventeen-year-old Lochan and sixteen-year-old Maya have always felt more like friends than siblings. Together they have stepped in for their alcoholic, wayward mother to take care of their three younger siblings. As defacto parents to the little ones, Lochan and Maya have had to grow up fast. And the stress of their lives—and the way they understand each other so completely—has also also brought them closer than two siblings would ordinarily be. So close, in fact, that they have fallen in love. Their clandestine romance quickly blooms into deep, desperate love. They know their relationship is wrong and cannot possibly continue. And yet, they cannot stop what feels so incredibly right. As the novel careens toward an explosive and shocking finale, only one thing is certain: a love this devastating has no happy ending.

MY OPINION: Darn. I wish I wasn't trying to be fair. I wish I stopped reading by the middle of it, I wish I would just stop torturing myself with negativity, I wish that for once, a story like this WILL have a happy ending.

I’ve been very open that I find incest (My opinion), disgusting and well a very uncomfortable subject. but I also made it a rule for myself to be open to any kind of book, despite the subject. I can say that I half regret reading it and half-surprised I actually read a book like this.

I decided to read this to overcome my certain ugly trait. I'm not really judgmental, but I am very opinionated. Being so, with my beliefs, I stick to it, no matter what. But sometimes in life, in order for you to be understanding, you will have to let loose on 'some' of your beliefs.

So I chose to read this, when I read the synopsis, it wasn't so bad. Something different, something edgy. But I did bear in my mind about the whole incest thing. So i read it, then I stopped, because... it was too lonesome.... but I continued reading it, until I finally finished reading the whole book. The result, a numb brain that can't decide if I really like it or not.

Lochan and Maya are thirteen months apart by age. With their irresponsible mother gone most of the time, They are the one who care for their younger brothers and sister, Kit, Tiffin, and Willa. Besides taking care of the family at a young age, they find themselves in a dangerous situation. Incest is illegal by law (and its just bad!) , and they’re clearly falling in love with each other. What might this entail?

The book just makes me want to collapse with sadness, because you see reality here, not much fiction. They were living so scarcely that they can’t have the luxury of getting new things often. I feel bad for Maya and Lochan's siblings, they are missing out different things that a child usually experiences at their age, even their uniforms and food is not right for them. But I can't say that Maya and Lochan aren't doing their best. They are working so hard to sustain their family. Its a good thing Willa and Tiffin are much more understanding, although Kit isn't half that bad. As younger siblings at least they understand their situation is a bit hard, and they're trying not to be burden to both of their older siblings.

Lochan and Maya... their story is just sad. Although as much as I want them to be together, goodness, I wished several times that they aren't really brother and sister. I knew somehow that they can't can never really be together. I don’t even care if there’s incest in there relationship. It was just so lonely, and both or them were miserable and I pity them because they can't do anything.

I don’t know where I stand, It wasn’t good at all, my body sags with grief when I read it. But it isn’t exactly ugly for me to give it low rating too. I just wished there was a bit more of an optimistic vibe in it. Something that can give hope, something that can give a solution (if there really is one) in these kind of situations.

It isn’t even a horrible book, it just speaks the truth, a reality check. That sometimes when you are at your lowest state, the only ones who will be there for you is family.  No matter how bad what you did is, they’ll be there to forgive you, to love you and care for you. The book doesn't have a problem, in fact, it is one of the most intriguing books I've ever read. It was really edgy, and well, not really in my comfort zone. But truth is I'm just a fourteen year old girl, I still can't handle this type of problems and topics.

Lesson learned, I just have to avoid these kind of topics, its too heavy for me to bear in my mind.

Book Review: Pushing the Limits by Katie McGarry

Pushing the Limits by Katie McGarry (5 Stars)

SUMMARY: No one knows what happened the night Echo Emerson went from popular girl with jock boyfriend to gossiped-about outsider with "freaky" scars on her arms. Even Echo can't remember the whole truth of that horrible night. All she knows is that she wants everything to go back to normal.But when Noah Hutchins, the smoking-hot, girl-using loner in the black leather jacket, explodes into her life with his tough attitude and surprising understanding, Echo's world shifts in ways she could never have imagined. They should have nothing in common. And with the secrets they both keep, being together is pretty much impossible.

Yet the crazy attraction between them refuses to go away. And Echo has to ask herself just how far they can push the limits and what she'll risk for the one guy who might teach her how to love again.

MY OPINION: Dang, so glad that I chose to read contemporary novels for now. This book is by far is the best I’ve read this month.

Pushing the Limits is about Echo Emerson and Noah Hutchins, the book had different POV’s of Noah and Echo. Basically Echo is assigned to tutor a certain student, she definitely didn’t expect it to be Noah Hutchins, hot guy, stoner, and known for his one-night stands. Not really acquainted with each other, they start to meet, to squabble and fight, and fall in love.

The plot was not very original but it still has a special touch to it that I can’t put a name on. The occasional good girl meets bad boy is actually the oldest trick in the book, so I didn’t have any high expectations for it at first. But I kept seeing reviews, compliments and praises for it. So I read it, just to know if it really was as good as they say.

I didn’t expect it to be the most ‘awesomest’ book I’ve ever read at all.

The characters were just a slice of heaven, I actually loved most of them, not just Echo and Noah. The whole group of characters, Echo and Noah’s friends, and Noah’s brothers, Mrs. Collins. They made the book so much better that it actually is. I love Lila for being a good friend, for not leaving Echo despite of her being a ‘freak’. Isaiah and Beth were just adorable for me, sure they are a bit of a bad influence but they were still good friends nonetheless. Noah’s brothers were so cute, I can imagine why Noah loves them so much, that he actually attempts to be responsible despite being a stoner. Most of all, Mrs. Collins. Gosh, Mrs. Collins might probably the only adult I’ve come to like so much. Her passion and determination to help both Echo and Noah was so touching and most of all, I loved her carefree attitude outside of the school, and professional, strict aura at work. She was the most influential to both Noah and Echo, and she helped bring out the best in both of them.

I love Echo, not as a want to be heroine, but as a girl who chose to make a change for herself, a change for the better. Falling in love made her face her fears, the scars in her arms, her impending need to please her father, and most of all, her loss of memory. I was practically (SPOILER ALERT) squealing with delight when she showed all of her scars. Ha! Everybody was openmouthed when that happened. I was clapping and grinning like an idiot when it finally happened. Her character was an inspiration to many teenagers who experience these kinds of problems. That alone made her very important and memorable.

But most of all, I give my praise to the character I loved most.

NOAH HUTCHINS!!!

Him showing up is just a dream for me. He has all the physical aspects that I find attractive in a guy. Hot with the usual rugged look with a silent and mysterious aura. >.< So dreeeeaaamy~!

But beside the hot looks, I am amazed by how much his appearance is a major contradiction to his character. He wasn’t a bad boy for no reason. His past, his infinite love and care for his brothers was just heartwarming. Most of all, I love it when he changed for the better so that Echo would actually be nice to him. Ohmigawd! It was like a dream come true for me. I always imagined to see a guy, changing himself for the better just to make the girl notice him. It was cute to see him, to see a guy like him, go and work hard, to impress the girl that he likes. But Echo didn’t like[love] him just because he changed, she loved him because he accepted her, because he was there to understand when others weren’t. Because just by being with him, she can show who she really is, she doesn’t need to play a part that she didn’t want, she was just herself.

It isn’t at all a perfect story, there were still some ups and downs, and big revelations, in the end. I’m so happy I read the book, and congratulations to Katie McGarry not just for the book, but by inspiring me and possibly other people. For proving the quote, “There is more than it meets the eye” is right.

Book Review :Dreamless by Josephine Angelini

Dreamless by Josephine Angelini [Starcrossed #2]
(3.5 Stars)

SUMMARY: Can true love be forgotten?

As the only scion who can descend into the Underworld, Helen Hamilton has been given a nearly impossible task. By night she wanders through Hades, trying to stop the endless cycle of revenge that has cursed her family. By day she struggles to overcome the fatigue that is rapidly eroding her sanity. Without Lucas by her side, Helen is not sure she has the strength to go on.

Just as Helen is pushed to her breaking point, a mysterious new Scion comes to her rescue. Funny and brave, Orion shields her from the dangers of the Underworld. But time is running out--a ruthless foe plots against them, and the Furies' cry for blood is growing louder.

As the ancient Greek world collides with the mortal one, Helen's sheltered life on Nantucket descends into chaos. But the hardest task of all will be forgetting Lucas Delos.

THE COVER: I don't like it at all. The girl looked burned by the sun and the hair looks artificial or something. On the plus side, the title is catchy.

MY OPINIONS: It’s been a few weeks since I read this, so sorry if it’s only a short review.

The book ugmm, okay because it was way better than the first. Starcrossed was actually a bit disappointing when I first read it, “That’s it?, NO WAY!” was my first reaction. I vaguely remember giving it three? Or was is it a four? Overall I was really hoping the second book [Dreamless] will be better.

The second book was mostly about Helen finding a way to “undo” or stop the blood for blood curse in the Scion civilization. Having met Orion, who coincidentally is “owned” by two houses. With his help, Helen finds a way to meet the furies and stop the curse, but will it cost not just her own life, but the life of the entire universe?

Well, I’m on the neutral side for this one. At first I thought: “Yay it was awesome!” but as time went by I had the chance to think about it, and the truth is, its not that great at all.

Helen was still the same Helen, beautiful but oblivious to it, completely impulsive and still in depression because of the Lucas-cousin thing. I’m not really irritated at her, just itching to know if the whole “incest” thing is true. Plus, the whole, I have to be far away from him/her thing is old school already. It makes them look masochistic actually.

Lucas is both the pessimist and masochist for me. His worst idea, his worst nightmare. I really don’t care what will happen with him at all. I have lost all hope now that he will be a good guy for Helen. Furthermore, his act of douchebaggery and street-cred attitude was just a turn-off.

The family seems at to be at the verge of falling apart. Everybody’s fighting with each other. Lucas accidentally hurts Noel, Jason’s angry with Helen, Cassandra slowly detaching with her family etcetera, etcetera.

Sure, it got a bit better, and a little bit more exciting, but its right around the edge of tv drama show. Everything’s too stressed, too much havoc, crying, sorrow and angry men and women. It isn’t that enjoyable anymore.

The only thing better now is Orion the new guy. I so love him, he’s like a new pint of fresh air. I love his humor, attitude and most of all gosh, he’s hot! XD

Overall, the second installment was a letdown [for me], even though the plot is taking a new and much more exciting term. The characters are getting on my nerves, and if I decide to read the third installment, I won’t have any high hopes at all.